We love a good confession. Am I right? We love the quirky, unexpected surprise and unpredictability they bring. We love that everyone has them, but pretend they don’t. The very word “confession” makes our ears prick up, our eyes widen, and our bodies lean in a little more. We want the truth, with a side of drama. So are you ready for my first confession? Here it goes.
Confession: I’m a church kid.
It’s true. I grew up in church. I practically lived at church. And although my parents were pastors for my entire life, I’m not sure I quite lived up to the expectations of “Pastor’s Kid.”
Confession: I made for a pretty second-rate church kid.
My brother and sister were much better than me. They both got straight A’s and had sensible friends. Somehow I was always the one causing problems.
I had too many questions. I wanted life to be an adventure. I was curious about who God was and how I could be a Christian and still have fun and make friends. And somehow, all of this seemed to be in conflict with the life my parents were creating within the walls of the church. Somehow I always ended up in precarious situations, wondering if I was going to ruin everything for them.
Confession: I always worried I would ruin everything for my parents... and maybe for me.
Cue: dramatic music. I know. I have a flair for the dramatic. I wish my life were a Broadway musical so I could just break into song at any moment. But, in all seriousness, there is something really healing about confessing the things you feel like you can’t admit to anyone.
That’s why I wrote a book and why I have started this blog. Because I’ve found healing by confessing who I really am, and I believe you can too.
Seriously, you should try it sometime. You know those things you think in your head but you’re afraid to say out loud? Like how you eat Nutella straight from the jar, or how you pretend to understand “Indie Culture” but you really don’t, or how you truly believe you and Taylor Swift will be BFF someday. Oh wait, just me? Okay.
Either way, I feel better now.
There’s something healing about confession. It’s like, once the words come out of our mouth, we can take a deep breath. Those admissions don’t define us. They don’t contain us. They don’t trap us. We can move on.
And if you grew up in church, like I did, chances are you don’t feel really free to confess how you feel about God, about church, and about life. You probably feel like you have to perform. For some reason, church tends to breed that idea in us. But here’s the crazy thing. God doesn’t need us to perform. In fact, he doesn’t want us to perform. And it isn’t until we start to admit the truth about what we think, what we feel, and who we are, that we can begin to experience the radical, transforming power of his love.
It all starts with confession.
I’ve been on this journey thing called life for 24 years now and I’ve been in youth ministry for over ten years. In that time I’ve learned some things. I’m getting trained on-the-job, and that’s how I’m learning.
I’m starting to realise that God isn’t into coincidences. He’ll use any circumstance, anywhere, at any time to teach me a lesson. Maybe you’ll read as I share them with you, as I share my life with you – its ups and downs, its serious and ridiculous moments and everything in between.
Maybe you’ll follow along. Maybe you’ll learn, alongside me that you don’t have to have it all figured out.
Maybe you’ll finally allow yourself to say the truth out loud. And maybe, just maybe your life will be changed by confession, too.
Confession: I like you already. Let’s get started.
Welcome to my blog.